I got home too late last night to feel like watching the results show and posting about it. Oh well. Just pretend I was doing this live, right? Also I sorta spoiled myself by checking my RSS feeds before watching this, but I’m going to also ignore that little fact.

Oh, they’re going to clarify Simon’s eye-rolling after Chris’s comment about Virginia Tech. I’m glad. America loves controversy, don’t we? The whole timing of that was just bad…bad on Chris’s part because it made it look like he was avoiding criticism by turning to the tragedy, and bad on the director’s part for cutting to Simon at that moment. I don’t think Chris meant it to come off that way–he’s a really sweet guy, and I’m sure he just knew that his moment on stage was about to be over and he wanted to make sure to mention it. Eh, I wouldn’t put it past the show’s director, though, to cut to Simon’s eye-rolling for the sensationalism. I mean, this is reality TV we’re talking about. Ooh, really good idea to show the other camera’s shot of Simon talking to Paula–we’re far too cynical a viewership to just believe Simon…although, I guess they could’ve shot that after the controversy and plugged it in…geez. I’m horrible. I don’t really believe that, folks. I’m not that cynical. But enough of that.

A sneak peak of Shrek 3? The heck? Why are we having that? That’s random and irrelevant.

You know something scary about the street interviews? They all watch American Idol and can articulate opinions about it. No, that’s not scary. What’s scary is when you compare that to the all the clips of people asking trivia questions on the street, and nobody having any clue. Like this one. (Granted, I know Ryan’s picking people who do know AI, and in that video they’re picking people who know jack squat, but I’m sorry. There’s NO EXCUSE for ANYBODY not knowing the answers the 90% of those questions.)

Yay group performance! Wow, Jordin can really do that country twang. That’s impressive. What’s her heritage, anyway? Whatever mixture of ethnicities she’s got in her turned out wonderfully. Hee. Chris cracks me up. I wish their solos could all be as enjoyable as the ensembles.

BTW, the “Quieter than a Lexus” Ford Edge commercial was directed by David Mamet. Apparently he also did a “Faster Than a BMW” one during the performance show, but I missed it.

Jordin? Fergie? Really? I have a feeling that Blake has the best musical taste in this group. Of course, that’s “best” judged subjectively by, you know, me. Oh, and now we have to listen to Fergie. Wonderful. For more Fergie fun, if you haven’t already seen this (it was all over the internets the beginning of this month), check out the Black Eyed Peas version of “My Humps” and then Alanis Morissette’s parody of it. I’m not a huge Alanis fan, either, but it’s really funny, if a bit too long. And then you can watch the clip from Blades of Glory and imagine Will Ferrell’s lady humps. Wow, I have way more time to think up random things and link them when I’m watching the show later and pause it a lot. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not, since apparently it leads me to link a lot of sexist hip-hop videos and clips from adolescent comedies and stoopid American interviews…

Line-up for Idol Gives Back: Pink, Gwen Stefani, Earth Wind and Fire, Il Divo, Keira Knightley, Hugh Grant, Josh Groban, Jack Black, Helen Mirren, Rascal Flatts, Quincey Jones, Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Annie Lennox, and more. Plus a surprise duet. Quite a group…hopefully some of those people are doing other things besides singing. A later commercial offers a few more names: Forest Whitaker, Borat, Teri Hatcher, Celine Dion. This is next week, folks, looks like at least parts of it will be worthwhile. Check it out, and vote next week…it’s for charity! (Sure, it’s also an Idol marketing ploy, but if marketing ploys yield charity, then I’m for it.)

The American Express points commercial makes it seem like you just randomly get a lot of points. Like, enough to fly all over the world chasing good snowboarding spots. It doesn’t tell you that the guy would have to be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to get that many points. That seems to me to be false advertising. Unless, of course, AmEx really does give you a buttload of points…in which case, someone please let me know?

Oh, and we’re going to start kicking people off now. Right. Results talk after the jump.

Dude, it would be fun to visit DreamWorks. OTOH, it would be infinitely cooler to visit Pixar. Okay, but Antonio Banderas would be awesome. The accent…guh. I guess it’s nice that the finalists get perks like special preview screenings. But it still comes across as shameless marketing ploys. Without even any charity tie-in.

And now Martina McBride. This show feels really long. But then, it’s probably because I keep pausing it to chase down links and stuff. Never mind. She’s very good. I’m not a country music person, so I’ve not really heard her before (heard OF her, but that’s different). One of the best guest performers so far, absolutely. And her daughter is so adorable, and so comfortable on stage already! She’s cracking me up. Heh, Martina should take Ryan’s job.

Splitting them into two groups. One the top number of votes, the other the bottom number. We’ve got seven people, so it would seem that whichever group gets three people would be the bottom, but he didn’t actually say he’s going to identify the bottom three. My guess? Whichever group has four people in the end will be the bottom. Reverse psychology.

Sanjaya to one end. Phil to the other. Jordin’s with Phil. LaKisha’s with Sanjaya. Blake is also with Sanjaya and LaKisha. Chris joins Phil and Jordin. Melinda’s left, and Ryan’s going to ask her which group is the top, I bet. And he tells Melinda she’s safe. But yep, he is going to make her pick the top group. Evil. Jordin/Chris/Phil are safe. Not my top three, but based on my actual thoughts and DialIdol predictions… And she refuses to pick. Heh. Yep, it’s Sanjaya, Blake, and LaKisha in the bottom. I would’ve put Sanjaya and LaKisha there, but I HEART BLAKE. And while it wasn’t his best performance, it didn’t deserve to be in the bottom. Chris should’ve been below him this week, even though I also heart Chris. Phil should’ve been overall, but he wasn’t too bad this week, so I’ll give him a pass. But next week, Phil. Next week.

HA! Yay Randy for defending Blake! Hee. Simon’s happy. He’s sensing something…what would that be? From the Cheshire Cat grin on his face, maybe he’s deducing that Sanjaya’s time has finally come?

Ryan’s about to send someone back to the couches, and the entire audience starts yelling “Blake!” I love it. And yep, Blake’s safe. Yay! He never should’ve been over there in the first place. So down to LaKisha and Sanjaya. LaKisha’s definitely the much better singer, but does she have the same sort of rapid delusional fanbase? Sanjaya…is going home tonight! It couldn’t last forever, man. OMG THE HAIR! *runs and hides* And now he has to sing that vapid version of “Something to Talk About.” See, that’s why he should’ve gone last week, he could’ve gone out on “Besame Mucho” and something I wouldn’t have minded listening to again.

So, what’s the theme next week, did they say? I mean, Idol Gives Back is next week, but is there a theme for the competition part?